


The Story Behind All These Bruises

by Abnormal_Cleric



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Deceit has six arms, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Remus appears once, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, because he’s not a nice person in cannon, body image issues, but he doesn’t do anything, but shouldn’t have to tag that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24797923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abnormal_Cleric/pseuds/Abnormal_Cleric
Summary: [Redacted] softened his approach to a whisper. He took Virgil’s hand and studied his fingers for a moment. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I guess I just miss you. You know, the way you used to be.”Virgil has some unresolved relationships to sort out.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 18
Kudos: 70





	1. Prologue

“Virgil, Baby, I just called you in here to tell you to cancel any plans you have for tonight and to remind you that nobody loves you.”

“Thank... you? Also, I haven’t had any sleep for-“

“Oh woe is you. Clear your schedule and be here before I send someone after you.”


	2. Chapter 2

The common room would have been quiet, if not for the game of _Sorry!_ that Patton had started. Roman was the one doing most of the yelling, but Logan put in his two bits every once in a while. At least Patton didn’t seem to mind. The only one not making any noise and not really thinking about the game at all was Virgil. He also happened to be winning.

About halfway through the second round, Janus slipped into the room and brushed his foot against Virgil’s back as he walked past.

Virgil looked up and caught Janus’s eye.

The snake nodded almost imperceptibly. His expression was somber and dark, as one delivering news of a loved one’s death.

None of the others had noticed their silent conversation. They were all too busy looking up the rules and insisting that no, Roman couldn’t use a seven to move a piece out of his start under any conditions, even if they _had_ “always played that way.”

Virgil tipped his head toward the middle of the circle. He was a little busy.

Janus’s face took on a warning.

The round was almost over. Could he at least stay until then?

No. He really couldn’t. Janus narrowed his eyes slightly and mouthed the word ‘now’.

Virgil set his cards down and stood up. “I’m going to bed. Janus can take my spot.”

The door snicked shut behind him and everyone turned to Janus.

The liar shook his head and left a moment later.


	3. Chapter 3

Virgil noticed his reflection in the hall mirror and stopped to stare. What did he need to do to fix his hair? Could he change his shirt? Was there something he could do to stall for time without seeming like that was his intention? He ran his fingers through his hair and spent a moment arranging it somewhat intentionally. He took a few deep breaths and tried not to panic. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done this before.

“Poor thing… May I help you?”

The burst of tension and fear dissolved into frustration and defeat when Virgil looked up and recognized the speaker. He didn’t have the energy to do this. “Why me? Why now? I was finally happy.”

Janus stepped closer and reached out to arrange the folds of Virgil’s hood over his shoulders. “Who can say why he does anything? He’s a madman and a tyrant. Chin up. Don’t look at me like that. I’m just as much a victim here as you are.”

Virgil took a moment to breathe and tried his best to keep from curling up in a corner until the world ended. “He’s going to hurt me.”

“I know.” Janus ran a third hand through Virgil’s hair and pushed it back, away from his face. “And when he’s finished, my door will be open. I’m here for you more than the others will ever be. I understand you in ways no one else could.”

There was nothing to say, and even if there was, Virgil didn’t trust himself not to cry. He nodded and kept breathing.

A fourth hand took Virgil by the shoulder to pull him into a hug and all six arms held him there for a good ten seconds. His voice was the softest sound in the world and it was meant for only Virgil to hear. “I’m sorry.”

The space inside the Janus-cocoon was comfortably small and secure. No one could find him here. It was safe.

When the snake let go, Virgil tested his voice. “Thank you.”

Janus gathered the tears from Virgil’s face and fixed his jacket again. He turned Virgil to face the mirror and didn’t smile. “There you go. You look beautiful, in a macabre sort of way. Like the prince of death and fear you are.”

That wasn’t what Virgil wanted to hear, but he let it slide this once. He looked like a spider who wanted to be human.

“Are you ready now?”

“Yes.”

Deceit offered Anxiety his arm and walked him princess-style down the hall to the black wooden door that spelled trouble ‘M-a-l-i-c-e’.

Janus knocked twice.


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re late, Virgil. I’m not impressed.”

Virgil looked over his shoulder for help from Janus, but the snake was already gone. “Can I come in?”

The black door opened and Malice stood before him in a dark suit and holding a half-empty wine glass in one hand. His eyes glowed orange. “That depends. Would you rather we do this in the hall?”

He would rather go back to the game of  _ Sorry! _ upstairs, but that didn’t seem to be an option. “No, sir.”

Malice stepped aside and ushered Anxiety into the room.

Everything was some shade of black, gray, or orange. The lights were low and there were no windows. The centerpiece of the room was a heavy cherry wood bed frame clothed in a thick, fire-colored duvet. A cold draft skated around the floor and didn’t help with the creepy factor.

“Sit.”

Virgil took his place on the very edge of the bed and tried not to look out of place in his purple and blue.

Malice turned to the dresser and lifted a large crowbar from where it sat like a museum display. “I don’t have all day, you ignorant slut.” The curved end of the crowbar fit perfectly against the center of Virgil’s sternum. “Take your jacket off.”

If anyone else had said it, he would have spat in their face. He would have spat in Malice’s face if he wasn’t holding a weapon. Instead, he just complied in silence and submitted to the suffering.

“And the shirt. I swear it’s like you’re an infant!”

Virgil waited for the metal rod to leave his chest, then crossed his wrists and pulled his shirt over his head girl-style. There was no point in fighting him.

Malice stepped closer and put one leg on either side of Virgil’s knees. He cocked his head and frowned. His eyes traced a path between Virgil’s face, chest, arms, and stomach. He raised an eyebrow and reached out to pinch together a bit of flesh from the inside of Virgil’s arm. “What is this?”

He hadn’t really noticed. It hadn’t been a problem until now. “It’s fat. I need it to live.”

“Interesting that you think that. You’ve been spending time with that ‘Logic’ character again, hmm?”

That was another thing he hadn’t noticed. He had been talking to Logan a lot lately.

“Well whatever it is and whatever purpose you think it serves, there doesn’t have to be so much of it. How am I supposed to know if you’ve lost any ribs with all this in the way?”

Virgil squirmed a little. He didn’t dare repeat the concerns Logan had expressed over the visibility of his bones.

“At any rate, I suppose I’ll just have to find them myself.” Malice tapped the crowbar in his hand and studied Virgil’s chest, judging approximately where he thought his rib cage ended.   
  
Virgil bit his tongue to keep from screaming and closed his eyes. Maybe he was a baby. He hadn’t even been hit yet.   
  
The pain was sharper than one might think and far more forceful than necessary. If Virgil had walked into the room with all his ribs intact, he wasn’t leaving like that. The second blow was a little lower down on the other side.   
  
Malice spoke softly. “I’m done. You can open your eyes now.”   
  
He opened his lower eyes first. Everything was a blur of light and shadow. He could barely make out Malice standing right in front of him. He pried his main eyes open and the scene came into color and focus.   
  
“That’s the other thing. Doesn’t that black stuff make it hard to see?”   
  
“No. Those eyes don’t work right anyway. Why flaunt them?”   
  
Malice licked his thumb and scrubbed some of the already ruined shadow from under his eye. “Because you’re a disaster and a harlot and you need something to make you unique. The eyes are unique and I’m sure your new friends would love to see you in your raw form. They’ll accept all kinds of monstrosities.”

“I’ll hide them for as long as I can.”

  
“Shame. They’re rather charming.” Malice continued to poke and prod and ask and pry into Virgil’s body and mind.   
  
The experience was by no means new, but it had been a while and it wasn’t pleasant. Anxiety sat through the examination in silence. He couldn’t risk making this take longer. He wanted to leave. He answered questions with as little information as he thought he could get away with. He played right into Malice’s hands and acted like a dumb bitch who couldn’t keep track of his own fingers.   
  
When he was done, Malice had given him no fewer than seventeen new bruises, cuts, and other injuries. It was like an inverse medical examination.   
  
Malice waved his hand for Virgil to leave and turned away.   
  
Virgil gathered his shirt and jacket and pulled both on before Malice unlocked the door and shoved him out into the hall.


	5. Chapter 5

“Come in.” The voice sounded like it was right behind the door. “I’m in the satin room.”

Virgil opened the door and looked around at the den of stairs, walkways, and fourteen identical doors. “Which one was that, again?”

The voice came from nowhere and echoed from everywhere. “Up the stairs to your left and it’s the first door at the top.”

He followed the verbal map and opened the door to the aptly named ‘satin room’. The sheets and every pillow on the bed were the same smooth, shiny fabric as the curtains around it. A pattern of gathers and swags pinned to the ceiling gave the whole room the feeling of a tent.

In the center of it all, Janus sat on edge of the bed with a sad smile and an air of well-crafted concern. “I don’t suppose you want to talk about it right now?”

Virgil looked away. There was nothing he could say that Janus didn’t already know. “I hate him.”

“Of course you do. Hatred is good for the soul. Come here. Sit down.”

He was sick of following orders, but he was almost as afraid of Deceit as he was of Malice. He sat down and watched Janus’s gloved fingers slide between his own.

Another of Janus’s hands crawled around Virgil’s back to rest on his hip and a third held his shoulder, drawing him in against his chest. A fourth set of fingers found its way into Virgil’s hair. The snake rattled. “Can I hold you?”   
  
It was a little late to ask, but that had been the plan all along. Virgil took a heavy breath. He almost leaned into the viper next to him, but part of him remembered Janus’s nature.   
  
They sat like that for a few minutes, not moving except for Janus to stroke Virgil’s hair or to run his fingers along his spine. The air was stiff and hot. It tasted like industrial cleaner and candle smoke. Time meant nothing and everything.   
  
Eventually, Janus brushed his lips against Virgil’s forehead and whispered into the skin, “May I kiss you?”   
  
Frick. Shit. Damn. No. “Yes.”   
  
Virgil had felt some strange sensations, but he would put a large sum of money on never knowing a stranger sensation than a forked tongue and fangs pressed to his lips. It was like kissing a snake. Oh. Right.   
  
Janus broke off and flicked his tongue out to taste Virgil’s nose. “You can relax… I don’t want to hurt you.”

He knew it wasn’t true. He knew it was just another lie to get him to let down his guard. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to believe it. He believed it. Anxiety let his shoulders drop and his breathing even out. He closed his eyes and touched his finger to the end of his nose, which still tingled from the surprise of being licked.   
  
Slowly, Janus moved a hand to Virgil’s leg. “Be a dear and bite my neck, sweet death prince of mine.”

Virgil froze. The part of him that wanted to automatically follow orders to avoid getting hurt crashed head first into the part of him that knew what would happen if he did. Every action was the wrong one. He couldn’t comply, he couldn’t fight, and he couldn’t just sit there. Something inside him was locked up and his whole psyche needed a hard reset. He stopped thinking. He just stared at the floor and forgot what he had been doing.

“Virgil?” Janus’s voice brought him back to the room. “Do you want me to start instead?”

The question snapped him out of his stupor and he looked up. Maybe Janus cared enough about his kind, supportive facade to follow it through. “You’re making me uncomfortable. I want to leave.”

Deceit moved his hand away from Anxiety’s leg and pulled his fingers through to the ends of his hair. He smiled in a way that spoke of betrayal and conquest. His voice was laced with antifreeze. “And where would you go?”

Virgil sat in silence. That was a good question. His own room would be his first pick, but Janus knew how to get in without asking. The common room was out of the question because he would have to explain to Patton why he was sleeping on the couch. Anyone else’s bedroom posed the same issue.

Janus squeezed Virgil tighter with the three arms already around him and his remaining arms arranged Virgil into something fit to be displayed on a height shelf away from dirty hands. He brushed the hair away from Virgil’s face, straightened the folds of his jacket, and used smoothing his pants as an excuse to return to his thigh. “Life’s full of tough choices, inn’t it?”

Virgil opened his mouth to say something, but Janus just kissed his forehead again and stood to face the vanity mirror. “And though you protest… your disinterest…”

“Stop. Don’t-”

Janus smiled. “I know clandestinely…”

Virgil jumped to his feet. “Shut up! You know I hate it when you-”

Deceit turned to face him and dropped his smile in favor of a knowing smirk. “You’re gonna grin and bear it; your newf-mmh!”

He hadn’t known what else to do. It was the only way to make him stop. Their lips were together before he had time to change his mind. He closed his eyes and let himself kiss Janus like he meant it.

When he finally pulled away, he looked at a spot of floor to his left and scraped his sleeve across his mouth. Maybe he could turn the tables in his favor. “Turn the lights off. Carry me home.”

Janus held him with two hands on his neck, two on his waist, and the last pair over the back pockets of his jeans. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

“Only if you let me drive.”

That was a big request, but lust can make a man promise almost anything.


	6. Chapter 6

Virgil woke up stiff, sore, and alone in a gray and yellow satin room. He slowly sat up and held the smooth, cold sheets up around himself. Janus was nowhere to be seen. It was just like him to sneak away unannounced. He was always crawling into or out of bed with someone or other. Virgil himself had only ever shared a bed with two people, and the one time he fell asleep next to Logan had been an accident. Now Malice and Remus wouldn’t shut up about how he was ‘the light sides’ bitch’ and he had ‘probably been in bed with all of them by now’. They had bets on whether Patton was included in that set or not.   
  
Virgil crawled to the edge of the bed to look for his clothes. This was humiliating. He didn’t deserve this. He needed a hot bath and a safe place to take a good long nap. By himself.   
  
Once he had his pants back on, he stood in front of the vanity and watched himself in the mirror. The pink marks under his ribs had turned green and were quickly changing to a purplish blue. Most of the other bruises and cuts were ambiguous and could have come from either of the two events of last night. One stood out as being distinctly Janus-specific. Virgil reached up to touch the red semicircle on the side of his neck. Two perfect dots sat in the center of the curve like eyes tracking his every move. Teeth. Fangs. He looked like he had been beaten with a truck. He was also a little softer around the edges, but he was a long way from ‘fat’. Not that he put a lot of stock into what his body looked like.   
  
Virgil pulled his shirt on and stuck his arms into his jacket sleeves. Now at least he could pass for having had a regular troubled sleep. It would be more believable if his jacket hood completely covered the bite mark on his neck. He did gain a little satisfaction knowing that Janus had two matching ones that would be twice as hard to hide.   
  
He stuffed his socks into the toes of his shoes and picked them up with one hand. He opened the door with the other and looked out at the maze of rooms.   
  
The front door was just down the stairs. If he was quiet, he might be able to get out before Janus noticed.   
  
Virgil took two steps and found himself face-to-face with the very snake he was trying to avoid.   
  
“Good morning, Virgil. I was just coming to check on you. I trust you slept well?”   
  
He wanted to throw up. The sweet tone of Janus’s voice couldn’t hide his ill intentions. “You mean you were bored and thought you’d come back for another round.”   
  
Deceit squared his shoulders and tipped his chin up. “No. Actually, I wasn’t. But now that you’ve offered...”   
  
No. Virgil searched Janus’s eyes for something that meant this was a joke. He didn’t want to go through that again.    
  
“...I think it’s only polite to accept.”   
  
Anxiety set a peck on Deceit’s lips and tried to push past him.   
  
Janus caught him by the arm and pinned him against the railing of the stairs. “Come now, didn’t your daddy ever teach you not to tease?”   
  
No one had really ‘taught’ Virgil anything, so why should that be any different? He refused to make eye contact. His whole body hurt and he wanted to eat something Patton had made and listen to Logan ramble about space or something. “Please let me go.”   
  
Janus softened his approach to a whisper. He took Virgil’s hand in two of his own and studied his fingers for a moment. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I guess I just miss you. You know, the way you used to be.”   
  
The way Virgil used to be was shameless and carefree. He had always been the one to invite himself in and ask for a body on his. It was a black and neon time. A lawless time of kicking off shoes and making out in the dark and taking what he wanted when he wanted it. He missed it just as much as Janus did.

He took a chance. He reached up, took Janus by the throat, and pulled him into a vintage pre-conversion Virgil kiss. It was the type designed to leave Janus starving for more. The kind he used to open with.   
  
This time, after he pulled away for a breath, he unbuckled himself from the six arms around him and turned to the door. He threw a little swagger into his step and didn’t look back. He knew Janus was watching him. He opened the door and looked out into the hall. “My ‘daddy’ is a lying whore.”   
  
Before he could hear Janus’s response, the door was shut behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

He dropped his act and let his face scrunch up to match his stomach.   
  
“I always knew he was.”   
  
Virgil whipped his head around at the voice and tried to slow his heart rate when he recognized the sparkles and the mustache. “What?”   
  
The Duke smiled. “I always knew Janus was... how did you put it? A lying whore? Sounds right to me...”   
  
“What do you want?” This morning was an emotional circus. “Why are you here?”   
  
“Just passing through. Did you at least leave him like he always leaves me? Desperate, nervous, and hard as-“   
  
“He told me not to tease.” The thought put a little of the attitude back into Virgil. “You know I had to.”   
  
“Good. The bastard needed it.”   
  
Virgil laughed and walked away with a little more confidence knowing that he had finally done something to make Janus suffer.


	8. Chapter 8

Logan, Patton, and Princey didn’t even look up when Virgil came into the living room. He took his usual place on the stairs and sat down. He pulled his knees up to his chest and folded himself down into a shadow.   
  
The other three continued their conversation as though nothing had changed. It was like Virgil didn’t even exist. He had to say it was a heck of a lot better than being the center of attention. They weren’t ignoring him, either. If Janus walked in right now and tried to ask him to do anything, Patton and Roman would be on him like a pack of wolves and Logan would be right there to tell Virgil that he didn’t owe anyone anything. It was a good feeling.   
  
Virgil looked around at the three sides he hadn’t known all that well before now. It was incredible to think about how quickly he had learned their quirks and habits.   
  
Patton was tucked into the corner of the couch with a glass of orange juice. His glasses were slightly crooked, but not enough that he looked like a rebel. Just enough to look relaxed. His smile lit up the room and the glance he gave Logan was somewhere between his usual ‘I just made a bad joke and you’re supposed to laugh’ glance and his ‘did I do good?’ glance. It was one of the cutest gestures he had ever made. He didn’t look upset when his comment went unnoticed, instead he tipped his head to one side and put on a smile that said he was doing his best to seem interested in what Logan was saying.

  
Logan himself sat in one of the dining chairs with the back against his chest and his knees on either side. His hair was pushed back away from his face and he was talking about something, something, blah blah blah, probably science. Sometimes, he tried to say three words at once and had to restart the sentence. He was passionate. His eyes were distant but focused, like he was watching something very far away. His hands moved like dancers on a stage and his voice provided the music.   
  
Roman was on the floor with his back to the tv cabinet. He wasn’t even pretending to listen to Logan. He had a sketch pad and a box of pencils that had become a floor of pencils. Every so often, he would set down the color he was holding and search for a different one. It took him almost as much time to find the pencil he needed as it did for him to use it and move on. All the while, his tongue was stuck between his teeth and his face was filled with something strong and nameless. His eyes were wide and focused; his breathing was long but shallow. He was in ‘the zone’ and nothing could take him out of it until he was good and ready.   
  
Virgil sat back against the steps and almost tuned in to Logan’s ramblings when Logan stopped rambling. Virgil looked around and made eye contact with Logan. He was vaguely aware that a question had been asked, but he could never be too sure. “Huh?”   
  
“I asked you what happened last night. Why did you leave so early?”   
  
He panicked. He loved these guys, but some things are best kept secret, and what if Janus was right about them not supporting him? “Nothing. I went to bed.”   
  
Logan worked to hide the surprise and doubt on his face, but he couldn’t erase it entirely. “Alright... are you sleeping okay? You look a little...”   
  
Patton picked up where Logan trailed off. “We’re just worried about you, Kiddo. You can be honest with us.”   
  
Anxiety didn’t look at Morality or Logic. He looked at his shoes and spoke to the floor. “I’m fine, guys. I just had a rough night. It’s not a big deal.”   
  
“Really? Because you look-“   
  
Logan cut Patton off with a warning look. “We didn’t mean to pry. I’m sorry if we’ve overstepped our boundaries. I was only trying to check in with you and see how you were doing. Please excuse Patton for his... protective nature.”   
  
Virgil was floored. The carefully measured tone was equal parts kind and firm without a pinch of stern or dismissive. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard Logan speak before, but this was the exact thing Janus had told him wouldn’t happen. Not that he had listened to him, but maybe deep down he had believed it. He looked up to see the same kind, firm mixture in Logan’s eyes. “Thanks for asking and... actually...”   
  
Logan waited patiently for Virgil to continue and, just before Patton could say something, he prompted Virgil again. He used that measured, kind tone again. “What happened?”   
  
Worst case scenario, they threw him out and left him for the others to eat. Virgil looked down at the floor between them. He tried to shrink into a speck of dust. Before he could shut down entirely, he forced himself to answer the question. “When I left last night... Janus... said some things to me.” If he could have wound tighter around himself, he did.   
  
Patton looked surprised and confused, but not like he had anything to say. Roman still hadn’t looked up from his sketch.   
  
Logan’s raised eyebrows and parted lips spoke volumes about the dots he had just connected. He shifted his weight as if to stand. “Do you want to have this conversation somewhere else? I can take you to my room if-“   
  
“No!” Virgil scanned Logan’s face and tried to decide how to go about this. “I mean... I’d... rather not go to...”   
  
“The kitchen, then? Or I can send Patton and Princey away.”   
  
“You don’t have to do that... we can talk in the kitchen.” Anxiety struggled to his feet and followed Logic around the corner into the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

Logan stood with his hands folded and his feet shoulder-width apart. He looked like a sim waiting for directions. His voice was low and soft, as though there was a sleeping infant in the next room. “Deceit spoke to you?”   
  
The moment of truth. “Yeah. He... he said some things that I really... I really wanted to believe.”   
  
“I know. I know he did. That’s all he’s good at. Do you feel comfortable disclosing the nature of these statements?”

It took a second to translate from Logan into layman’s terms, but Virgil folded his arms and leaned against the counter. “He told me he cared about me.” His voice was doing that stupid shaky, kind of stuffed up thing right before he started crying. He didn’t need that. “He said he wanted to be there for me. I trusted him.”   
  
Neither of them said anything for a long time. Logan studied Virgil as if wondering whether he was going to burst into flame.   
  
Without warning, Virgil tossed his last card onto the counter. “He said he wanted me.”   
  
Logan nodded very slowly, like he had expected something like that. “Is that where...” he gestured to the side of his own neck, “this came from?”   
  
No point in hiding it now. Logan already knew, he just wanted to hear it in Virgil’s words. “Yeah. He’s... he can be a little rough sometimes.”   
  
Logic drew his eyebrows together and narrowed his eyes as if processing the ‘sometimes’ part. “Has he done this before?”   
  
Anxiety turned away and stared at a spot of counter for a minute. He may have been admitting to his present, but he hadn’t signed up for explaining the past. Logan had no right or need to know these things.   
  
“I’m sorry if I’ve asked too much. You don’t have to answer anything if it makes you uncomfortable. Do you want to tell me anything else, or should I leave you alone with your thoughts?”   
  
Virgil’s nails dug into his palms and he closed his eyes. The more he hid from Logan the more power he gave Janus. He couldn’t let this happen again without a support system who knew how to handle him. “We used to do this all the time, back when I was- ...before.”   
  
Logan nodded and some of the questions cleared up from his eyes. “I understand. Is that everything?”   
  
Virgil’s stomach tightened. Maybe there was a grain of truth to what Janus had said. Logan really wasn’t interested in helping him get out of this and had just been putting up a front. He was probably bored and was planning to forget this whole conversation when he left. Virgil had no place forcing him to stay through even one more confession. He looked up and met Logan’s eyes. “Yeah. That’s it.”   
  
When Logan smiled, Virgil knew it was over. He hadn’t wanted to be here in the first place and couldn’t wait to be gone. “Thank you for telling me all this. It’s imperative to me that I’m able to prepare for things that might hurt you or anyone else.”   
  
Virgil shrugged and didn’t say anything.   
  
Logan didn’t leave. He let his gaze drop to the floor and then tipped his chin up to look Virgil in the eye, a small smile just peeking out from under an otherwise sad expression. “When you’re ready, my door will be open.”   
  
He waited for a beat, then returned to the living room.   
  
Virgil sank down to the floor and sat there, not moving.


	10. Chapter 10

At around noon, maybe two hours after Virgil had woken up, Patton knocked on his bedroom door. His voice was soft and careful. “You in there, Kiddo?”   
  
He didn’t move from his blanket cocoon. Maybe if he ignored it, it would leave.   
  
“I want to talk to you.”   
  
Nope. He wasn’t going to answer.   
  
Patton sounded heartbroken. “Please let me in.”   
  
Virgil shifted around and pulled his blanket up under his chin.   
  
The voice sighed and a few moments passed. “I brought food.”   
  
As hungry as he was, he didn’t want to talk to Patton about his problems.   
  
There was a sound like Patton’s forehead coming to rest on the door. “Virgil... I love you.”   
  
Virgil tried not to hear the fissures in Patton’s voice. He did want to open the door.   
  
After a long silence, Morality took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”   
  
Anxiety’s shoulders dropped.   
  
“I don’t know what I did wrong. When you... when you said that Janus talked to you last night... I just wanted to... I don’t like Janus very much and I guess I...” His voice shook like the shutters of a haunted house. “I get a little protective sometimes. Please don’t be mad at me. Logan and I are doing our best. We care about you more than you know and... if Janus tries to tell you anything different, then- ...then... I don’t know. I don’t know and I’m sorry.”   
  
Virgil waited for a minute, then climbed out of his blankets and opened his bedroom door. The hall was empty. Patton had already left. Virgil almost called after him, but he couldn’t face him after ignoring him like that.   
  
He shut the door and returned to his bed.   
  
He hated Janus more than anything.


	11. Chapter 11

It wasn’t until an hour after Patton came to offer him lunch that Virgil felt like he should eat. He crept into the kitchen and froze when he saw Patton and Logan.   
  
Morality was trying to dry his face with a tissue and Logic had an arm around his shoulders. He was shaking and his breathing was uneven. “Logan?”   
  
“Yeah?”   
  
“Is it wrong for me to want to hurt Janus?”   
  
Logan pulled Patton’s hands away from his eyes, put his glasses on his face, and tipped his chin up. “You tell me.”

“Well, I know it doesn’t feel  _ right… _ ”

“Whether it’s wrong or right to want to, I have to advise you not to act upon that impulse. This is not our war to wage. If you step in now, then you will be the only one who suffers for it. Janus will tear you to pieces and twist your words to make Virgil distrust you. Anything you say is a weapon in his hands.”

Patton’s eyes changed. “I don’t want to  _ say _ anything.  _ I want to hurt him. _ ”

“Don’t.” Logic put his hands on Morality’s shoulders and held him still. “He’s a dangerously unstable individual. There is nothing you can do directly that would even begin to make him suffer. This is something Virgil has to do by himself. That’s not to say he can’t have help, but don’t force his hand. Don’t give him reason to go back there.”

“Okay…”

Patton might have said something after that, but Virgil had already left. If Logan was willing to fight Patton for Virgil’s freedom and if Patton was ready to fight Janus with no regard for his own safety, then they were more determined to be friends with Virgil than he had thought. He always knew they were better than Janus said they were, but he hadn’t really thought about how much better they actually were. These were people who would support him.

These were people he could trust.

These were people who would help him get out of this.


	12. Epilogue

“Am I fat?”   
  
“No.” Logan snapped his book shut and looked up at Virgil. “The amount and distribution of adipose tissue you have is well within the ideal healthy range for a man of your height and age. Why do you ask?”   
  
Virgil raked his hair away from his face and let it fall back into his eyes. “I just feel fat, okay?”   
  
“How long have you felt like this?”   
  
“I don’t know. Two days?”   
  
“Ah. Ever since your... interaction with Janus.” Logan shifted around in his seat to face Virgil directly. “In that case, suffice it to say you’re not fat, he’s just being a bitch. If you need more assurance than that, look in a mirror. And even if you were, that doesn’t define you. You’re beautiful for what you say and do, not what you look like.”   
  
Virgil pinched his arm through his sleeve. He felt a little better, but... “Or see like?”   
  
“What?”   
  
“Would I still be beautiful because of my actions if I had six extra eyes that only detected motion and light?”   
  
“What are you-?”   
  
“Hypothetically.”   
  
Logan adjusted his glasses and leaned forward. “Virgil, is there something you want to tell me?”   
  
“No.” Virgil was gone before Logan could even think of more questions to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This was so much fun to write. I love my spider son so much. Comment your favorite parts and tell me if there are any obvious tags I should add to this. Thank you for reading and I hope you have better luck than anyone here just did with the rest of your life.


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